Goodbye Weight of the World

Maybe it's a little bit of rebellion bubbling up from deep within; Maybe it is a little bit of midlife crisis- taking those scissors to my hair and removing about a third, and then a little more, and then just a little bit more! With each round of cutting I feel more courageous; I feel like I am ready to take that next mountain.

As I sweep up the locks tussled about the bathroom, a certain sort of mischievous smile creeps over my face. I dump them in the trash and stare down at the hair I had loathed to part with for so many years- years that began when I rushed with excitement to my aunts barber chair the first time she gave me a short haircut; How her and my mom gleefully exclaimed over me afterwards. But it wasn't to last. My daddy was furious and said I looked like a boy, and that nobody asked him if it was okay. Suddenly, my hair was not my own. It belonged to someone else- someone I loved and looked up to. And the scissors that had trespassed through my silky blonde mane, had displeased and angered him. Then there were the laughs and jeers in my first grade class; The beehive my mom had so proudly arranged the new cut into for my school pictures apparently wasn't so hip after all. Suddenly haircuts were dangerous. From then on I knew, never EVER cut my hair short- that's for boys. But at least I could curl it and style it and make it look pretty; until I was told that someone else did not approve. Someone even more powerful than my dad. Someone else I had learned to love and look up to. My hair did not belong to me-nor did anything else I had. God owned it and he greatly disproved of me cutting or even spending much time styling it. No, I must be careful not to look like the rest of the world. To mess with my hair was all the more dangerous now for it could lead me right to hell's eternal fire.

My eyes were now riveted on that pile of brown hair. I didn't feel the danger. I didn't feel the scorn. Rather, I felt so light and free . . . as if the weight of eternity had just been cut away.