Fear is the Root of All Unhappiness

This morning I came across another awesome quote from Mahatma Gandhi which resonated so deeply within me:

If I have learned anything is this life, this has been my most profound and powerful lesson. I can honestly say that fear is the root of every prejudice, hatred, bully, war, insecurity, insanity- every ill will you can think of. Some people believe that the love of money is the root, or pride or the thirst for power; yet, these are all tentacles off the root of fear.

The love of money comes from a place of fearing we will not have enough, or we will have less than someone else, which may then be seen as we are less than others. Money induces a sense of security and control over our lives. Losing money makes one fear what might happen to them.
Pride comes from a place of fear; if you think about it, the reason someone appears prideful, is because they are afraid of being seen as weak or wrong. A fear of being wrong will sabotage a persons ability to see clearly.
The thirst for power comes from a fear of being overpowered, and possibly hurt by others.

It is not until we root up fear in our lives that we can have true peace, happiness and love.
It is written in the Bible, "Perfect love casts out fear for fear is tormenting." (1 John 4:18)

I have personally had to battle many fears throughout my life; and each fear I have overcome has led to bliss, greater faith in God, more hope for the sad conditions we see in the world, and a deeper love for all living beings.

All the things we are trying to attain to and to take hold of here slips away like sand through a sieve. Nothing ever remains except, "Faith hope and love, these three; and the greatest of these is LOVE!" (1 Cor. 13:13)

If you really give yourself time to meditate on this, you will see the truth of Gandhi's words. We hate what waters and feeds our deepest fears. The fastest way to all we have ever desired is to cast out fear. But that is easier said than done.

One way that has been helpful to me is what I call the Spiral Question and Challenge, an adaption from what I have learned from Teal Swan. I have found that emotions spiral, either up (higher vibes) or down (lower vibes). When your find them spiraling down, do not resist it but rather go with the flow asking the questions all the way down, "Is that true?" and "So what is so bad about that?"

Example:

Fear: "If (fill in the blank__________) I might lose my job!"
Is that true? yes!
So what is so bad about that?
"Well, if I lose my job, then I wont have any money."
Is that true? "Yes!"
So what is so bad about that?
"If I don't have any money, I will lose my home. My family will be on the streets."
Is that true? "Well...... maybe not in the streets but in a shelter."
So what is so bad about that?
"Shelters are dirty and humiliating."
Is that true? If so, what is so bad about that?
"We would get sick, and everyone will think I am a loser."
Is that true? "Well, we may get sick, and I guess not everyone would think that."
If both did come to pass. What is so bad about that?
"We would die and our life would be for nothing."
Is that true? Absolutely not!
That is a socially-constructed belief. Everything we experience in this life has a purpose, a lesson and a reason. 

Now lets spiral back up the same ladder....

• We didn't get sick
• Everyone didn't hate us, in fact, I was shocked at how many people cared and helped us out. 
• We never ended up in a shelter because we were offered other places to live, which we didn't need to take because I actually found another job that ended up being a much better fit for me and pays more and really not only did things not go bad, they ended up better. 
• My faith in humanity was restored. 

The ladder we spiraled down was the FEAR ladder. The one we climbed back up was the HOPE, FAITH and LOVE ladder.

Try it, on whatever your current greatest fear might be.

Overcome your fears and start living a life of happiness, rooted in faith, hope and love.
This is the essence of the High Vibes Life!

Laughter- the best way to high vibes!

Yesterday in my speech class, we were doing impromptu speeches and one of the young ladies got up to do her speech, but could not get past the first line. She just kept laughing hysterically and saying, "I don't even know why I'm laughing."

Soon the entire class was laughing, and none of us knew why either, only that her laughter was contagious and we had caught it! That's how genuine laughter is; it spreads from person to person.

My sisters and I have this malady whenever we get together as well and the more tired we are, the more intense the laughter becomes.

If your in need of some vibrational elevation, laughter is the grand-master key! Find a movie, a sitcom, a friend- anything that makes you laugh!

"Laughter is the fireworks of the soul"

"Laughter is timeless; 
imagination has no age; 
and dreams are forever"

~Walt Disney

"Life is better when you're laughing"

"Laughing will always be the best form of therapy"

"When you love and laugh abundantly

you live a beautiful life!"

"Laughter is an instant vacation"

~Milton Berle

"With mirth and laughter,

let the wrinkles come"

~William Shakespeare 

"Laughter heals all wounds,

and that's one thing everybody shares"

~Kevin Hart

"I love it when somebodies laugh

is funnier than the joke"

"A child's laugh could simply be

One of the most beautiful sounds

in the world"

Video By AFV kids

The Empowered Woman

Saturday Soul Links {Only the good news please!}

Follow me from out of the cold cloudy nights and lets do a little stargazing
with these spectacular photographs by Stan Honda . . .

Secret Santa deputizes several officers to give out hundred dollar bills
instead of tickets. His purpose?
To bless these good-hearted officers with the gift of JOY!





Taking skiing to a whole other level-
experience the exhilaration of this man's breathtaking slope moment . . .




One little second grader takes on a compassion project
and raises enough money to provide mattresses needed
for an orphanage for abandoned boys in Peru...




Always there are the lastest and greatest inventions to stir the imagination
and make us say either, "Good idea!" or, "You've got to be kidding me!"
Check out these thirty clever inventions . . .

You have to watch this to the end.
These snorkelers set a dying, humpback whale, free from fishing net.
The reaction of the whale is worth it all . . .




I don't know about you, but I cannot resist the beautiful sound of a young boys choir,
and this one is no exception, blessing us with these two beautiful Christmas songs . . .




How about a little patriotism while Christmas lighting?
This house reminds us that while we are caught up in the hustle, tinsel,
twinkling lights and festivities of the holidays,
many families have loved ones vacant from their homes,
defending these freedoms we are enjoying- even at Christmas.
Watch and listen to this awesome display of lights . . .




Trying to grab and hold onto happiness?
Listen to this man's perspective on where happiness is magically discovered . . .




When one woman is stranded at night with no way home but to walk,
help is offered from a most unexpected hand,
and a beautiful ripple effect ensues . . .

How 'bout capturing a proposal in a photo booth?




"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends!"

Merry Christmas!!!

Holiday Onset Suicide Rescue

During the Holidays, many people become extremely depressed and suicide skyrockets. In this video I discuss this issue and give five tips to rescue a suicidal thought pattern.

For the Good of the Soul, 1

Adorable bulldog passionately sings with his friends, 'You Raise Me Up'

Compassion moves couple to bless a needy waitress 

with a very unusual and generous tip

The master artist enthralls us once again with these beautiful, 

microscopic snow and ice structures

My heart just breaks when I see this little dog; 

But in the end their is reason to rejoice!

Remember these Christmas commercials from the 80's?

This video should soothe the worse case of nerves

It's good to be oft reminded of all the love and empathy 

that still resides in the souls of this world; 

This video will help to restore your faith in humanity

Another tearful reunion of a young boy 

and his father returning from Afghanistan

A small boy's dream to be a "UPS man" comes true

"As long as the earth endures, seed-time and harvest, cold and heat, 

summer and winter, day and night will never cease" Gen. 8:22 

From winter through fall, God's earth continues to enchant us in its glorious beauty

See if you can get through this video without laughing

I really can never get enough of this song; 

I love this simple heartfelt version

Grab a cup tea and curl up with your special someone 

to enjoy this beautiful song

Kk- just one more compilations of soldiers return- left me in tears!!!

Rainbow in My Backyard

Rainbows are reminders that everything is going to be okay, that we are loved, and that every rainstorm bears a treasure. My soul is as the Sun; though the dark clouds may come and ferociously darken its light and wring out the tears of heaven, it can never take away it's strength and glory. When they dissipate, as they always will, the Sun will shine all the more brighter!

Tonight, my soul finds strength through the wise echos of NEVER!

• Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. ~Mark Twain
• Never stray away from yourself to get closer to someone else
• Never waste your feelings on people who don't value them
• Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~H. Fierstein
• Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about. ~W. Churchill
• Never apologize for showing feeling; when you do, you apologize for the truth ~B. Disraeli
• Never be afraid of your tears
• Never forget your inner child
• Never lose hope
• Never waste to your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you
• Never chase love, affection or attention; If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having
• Never base your life decisions on advice from people who don't have to deal with the results
• Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up
• Never judge someone by the opinion of another
• Never lose an opportunity for seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. ~R.W. Emerson
• Never, ever give up!

Ten Marital Communication Skills to Master

"Where there is love, there is no imposition"

~ Albert Einstein

1. Think before you speak- Don't allow the adrenaline rush you feel from a conflict, control you, otherwise you will be reactive rather than proactive. Taking a few minutes to think about what you want to say is a wise investment. 

2. Speak Truthfully- One of the worse things you can do is lie. Many lie because they do not want to stand up and take the blame for their actions or admit that they have done something wrong. Everyone makes mistakes; this is how we learn. A good rule of thumb is to stay away from words like never and always. Words like these will come back to haunt you. 

3. Transparency- Be open and honest about everything. Don't try to hide behind a fake frontage or facade. This will take being humble and not letting pride get in your way. When you are open and honest, you will be much easier to be listened to and heard. 

 4. Edifying- A marriage is only as good as its weakest link. However, the weakest link can be strengthened through edification. Building trust and confidence in your partner takes hard work and patience, but it pays great dividends in the end. 

5. Avoid criticizing or attacking- trying to put the blame on your partner instead of taking responsibility for yourself, will break all the first four communication skills in one fell swoop. If you are not happy with the others actions, then you need to work with them, to educate them on how things might be handled in the future to improve the situation. Do not take your frustrations out on your spouse, forgetting your role as a nurturer and advocate. There are times when your spouse is going to be confrontational. This should not be fueled and allowed to escalate in front of children or other onlookers. Take control of the situation until you are able to deal with it in another area with the door shut. This will also give your partner time to cool off. If your partner continues to be confrontational and irrational, bringing in a third party- such as a therapist, may be needed to help bring you both back to healthy communication. 

6. Proper Timing- Know when to speak and when not to speak. Put yourself in the other persons shoes. Timing is everything. It could be the difference between keeping a friendship and losing it. Always be considerate and take into account all aspects of the situation. Your spouse may be more sensitive about discussing certain issues in public areas. Always show respect for their needs. Again bringing you back to skill one, you don't want to say something you will regret later. Proper timing should be thought about when making a request as well. Not everything needs to be addressed immediately. Prioritize what you need to talk about and wait for a better opportunity for the rest. 

7. Kindness and Respect- Kindness and respect go a long way.Before you start sounding off a list of grievances, you should ask your partner about how you are doing and if there is any way you can improve the relationship. This demonstrates personal responsibility and maturity, and shows your spouse that you are serious about their happiness and about your relationship. Avoid accusing statements that begin with "you," such as "you hurt me.' Instead, take responsibility for your own reactions in statements such as, "I was hurt by what you did/ said." Begin with "I" instead of "you."

8. Understanding- When the above skills are neglected, there is a tendency to shun questions, and to not get clarification and understanding. Each partner of the relationship needs to understand what the others expectations of them are and what their duties to the relationship is and be in agreement about these things. Never expect your partner to second guess your needs and desires. We need to ask each other questions in order to better understand one another. This is not always easy because questions can make one feel vulnerable and ignorant; However questions, when asked, not to interrogate, but to better understand what the others expectations are, can be humbling and when answered with respect, can evoke that transparency we need to be good communicators. 

9. Be an attentive listener- Being an attentive listener may be the most important part of being a good partner or friend. As has been observed before, we were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should be doing more listening than speaking. But "attentive listener" is the key here. To be attentive, one gives his total attention to the person speaking, asking for clarification whenever you need to. Do not interrupt and do not keep a mental list of all the things you are going to say in retrospective of all that is being said to you. When this is going on, you are not listening to hear, but rather listening to defend yourself. 

10. Attitude and Body Language- You can master all of the above out of "duty" but if you have an defensive attitude, it will spill out in your body language. Body language is a powerful mechanism that can manipulate the communication. Rolling your eyes, shrugging your shoulders, waving your hands, are all indicators that you could care less about what is being said. Be aware of your attitude and if you must, ask to talk at a different time to give you time to cool off and become more objective. But just make sure you set up another time to reconvene and finish the discussion. Ignoring problems only makes them fester. You need to learn to communicate and work through your issues. 

If we want to have a good marriage- to anyone, we have to master the art of good communication. Without communication skills laid as a foundation beneath your relationship,every other effort will be for not.  

Adapted from: FireHouse- The Ten Commandments of Communication

The Broken Ones

"I cant help it. 

I love the broken ones; 

the ones who need patching up;

the ones who never been loved.

And maybe I see a part of me in them;

the missing piece, always trying to fit in;

the shattered heart,

hungry for a home.

No, your not alone."

~Unknown

With Brave Wings She Flies!

WITH BRAVE WINGS SHE FLIES!

It's been almost a year since I left the church I had been a part of for close to 20 years. With all the courage I could muster, I walked out of the inner world of protocol, dogma and dictation and out into a world of uncertainty and misgiving. I waited for the sky to fall, for the serpent to bite, for the wrath of God to shake his finger at me and claim me a heretic doomed for hell's fires. Every slip away from the rules and regulations I had so faithfully adhered to, was followed by accusations that I was the devil's advocate and would soon be "seven times worse than before."

It wasn't a hasty nor a light decision. It began a few years prior, when in a desperate cry for relief from a monotonous, insipid life, I began to pray that God would take every ounce of religious spirit out of me and to help me to be a proper representative of him. Over the years, the splits, fighting, hurt and drama I had witnessed at church and in the religious world at large, I knew God could not be the instigator of it all. I was so discouraged and let down. I could not envision the entire world being locked down in this systematic way of living. Though I knew the world at large has great needs, this routine was not the answer.

I read several books by different women who were involved in religious cults. I saw the same fears of leaving, of God's wrath, of being the only way to heaven used on each one of these women. It opened my eyes to the manipulation of fear, and I saw that what was holding me to that church was no longer a love for Christ and his work; Somewhere along the way, that had been lost in all the do's and dont's and the complete take over of my life. I knew I was no longer happy there, that I was dying inside and they did not have the solution. And I knew that the only thing that was continuing to hold me there, was fear.

In the mean time, God was working so gently within my heart, calling me closer to him and giving me my wings. I read a book titled Half The Sky written by two journalist who traveled to several countries and witnessed the violation and oppression of women and young girls in developing countries. The stories in this book were absolutely horrific; A complete paradigm shift was going on inside of me. Little by little God began to rock my world so severely and I knew I needed to leave religion behind me.

One day it dawned upon me that these women were in countries and/or positions where they had no say about what was being done them. I thought about all the religious oppression world wide where torture and blood shed awaits any who would dare question the system. And here I was in AMERICA- the land of the FREE choosing OPPRESSION! I knew at that moment that this was not just about me. My freedom was about every man, woman and child out there who have no rights. My freedom was not to be taken lightly. My freedom was their HOPE!

One day I saw a vision of myself. I was in a large cage, curled up in a ball, crying. The door of the cage was wide open but I was too terrified to leave, because I believed the serpent waited without to devour me. Then God spoke to me and told me to use my wings and fly away.

It took a great amount of courage to leave flying straight towards my deepest fear. But the day I flew away, a great load lifted off of me and I knew, I had just taken my first step towards TRUE FREEDOM!- That freedom that comes from within, that nothing in this world can ever steal away- that freedom of KNOWING I have wings, and God is the wind beneath them, and that nothing could ever separate me from him. The day I walked away, was the beginning of my personal inner freedom;

Thank God for America- May God bless her. May she rise up and hold the freedom she still has left. May she continue to hold a scepter of HOPE out to the world.

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Do More Of It!

Eighty Year Old Woman Dances the Salsa!

Eighty-year-old Nico, dances the Salsa on Britain's Got Talent. What and inspiring example that age never has to be a factor in living life to the fullest!

Your Amazing Just the Way You Are!

All you lovely ladies out there; play this for yourself, and sing it to yourself all day long, because you are 

AMAZING!

Just the way you are!!!!

Be Your Own Best Friend

Healing requires a commitment to becoming your own best friend. This is not as easy as it sounds. When the wounds are touched and the pain begins to surface, you may surprised to find self-sabotage on board that you never realized was there. You may be surprised at what you have externalized and accepted about yourself. When it comes time to offer yourself nurturing, you may find a real struggle going on within. It will be a challenge to say the least. But sooner or later you will learn, that no one knows you like yourself. No one understands what it was like better than you. And no one but you can administer instinctively, the right medicine for healing. Practice being your own best friend. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself, how you treat yourself especially when you have a need. Ask yourself, "If I had a friend hanging around that treated me this same way, would they be my friend for long?"

Start treating yourself as if you are the BEST friend anyone could ever have!

Spring Cleaning and Self Nurturing

With this past semester now behind me, and summer vacation before me, I am in the mood to get in and get this house to SPARKLE! Follow along and we will get the job done as well as pep up our spirits with a little self-nurturing!

Through the Eyes of a Child

"There is joy and wonder every where when you see the world through the eyes of a child."

Do It Any Ways, It's Between You and God!

Visualization

"What and how much had I lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what I myself had wished to do?" ~Ralph Ellison, The Invisible Man

Today I got out for a walk with my dog. I have been working for hours trying to get these blogs launched. They still are not all that I want them to be. But I must be patient and take things slowly. I am one to want the results yesterday. I believe it is because I feel as if I am racing against time.

I have been practicing medative prayer in the mornings. After everyone is going, I sit on the couch in a meditation formation and quiet my mind before God. I read some from the Bible. I listen to God talk to my heart. I practice thankfulness and gratitude for all that I am and have in the now. And then I practice positive visualization and form of prayerful request for myself and others. Instead of asking right out, I visualize what I want to see accomplished. Sometimes I end up asking as well. But mostly I try to visualize. It is so peaceful. God is very near to me and my mind is so calm.

The mind is a very powerful thing. Even God says in his word, "As a man thinketh, so is he." We have to see ourselves the way we wish to be. We have to see ourselves with all the positive attributes we desire. We have to practice this until it becomes a habit.

How much of our lives are wasted because we have seen ourselves through the distorted mirrors that other people have given us. Because we have lived up to everyone else's expectations of us. So many of us have pressed out our true identity ~ we have become DEPRESSED!

Now its time to turn those mirrors away and begin to visualize ourselves in all the splendor and glory that God intended for us in our creation.

Excess! Excess! Excess!

If there is one thing that drains the energy from life and saps you of your strength, its all the excess STUFF we constantly have flowing in and that we let STOP when it arrives. One thing I am committed to this year and that is to move out the excess so there is more room for the healthy, new and fresh. Today I decided to unburden my purse. Every time I go to the store, I feel like Mary Poppins digging through my bag for to retrieve my wallet and then I lay out all the store cards and start sifting through, trying to find the right one for the store I am in. What a mess. Really, we are going to need a new system soon. Okay, here is what I eliminated from my purse:

Library cards I never use anymore; Cards for stores I never visit. Receipts I don't need. Who needs more than one pen in their purse? Hair bands, outdated coupons. I am always sticking coupons in my purse and then forgetting about them. If I cannot think of a way to remember them, I need to quit saving them. Maybe I should add them to my grocery list?

I also took my tree down this week and eliminated more stuff that we do not put out on Christmas, although, admittedly, I could have done better with that. I think I will sneak out and get rid of more. HE HE! I always think in my mind I could SELL it. SIGH! And here it sits, clogging up my life. I just need to move the stuff on.

A Blessing For You