Fear is the Root of All Unhappiness

This morning I came across another awesome quote from Mahatma Gandhi which resonated so deeply within me:

If I have learned anything is this life, this has been my most profound and powerful lesson. I can honestly say that fear is the root of every prejudice, hatred, bully, war, insecurity, insanity- every ill will you can think of. Some people believe that the love of money is the root, or pride or the thirst for power; yet, these are all tentacles off the root of fear.

The love of money comes from a place of fearing we will not have enough, or we will have less than someone else, which may then be seen as we are less than others. Money induces a sense of security and control over our lives. Losing money makes one fear what might happen to them.
Pride comes from a place of fear; if you think about it, the reason someone appears prideful, is because they are afraid of being seen as weak or wrong. A fear of being wrong will sabotage a persons ability to see clearly.
The thirst for power comes from a fear of being overpowered, and possibly hurt by others.

It is not until we root up fear in our lives that we can have true peace, happiness and love.
It is written in the Bible, "Perfect love casts out fear for fear is tormenting." (1 John 4:18)

I have personally had to battle many fears throughout my life; and each fear I have overcome has led to bliss, greater faith in God, more hope for the sad conditions we see in the world, and a deeper love for all living beings.

All the things we are trying to attain to and to take hold of here slips away like sand through a sieve. Nothing ever remains except, "Faith hope and love, these three; and the greatest of these is LOVE!" (1 Cor. 13:13)

If you really give yourself time to meditate on this, you will see the truth of Gandhi's words. We hate what waters and feeds our deepest fears. The fastest way to all we have ever desired is to cast out fear. But that is easier said than done.

One way that has been helpful to me is what I call the Spiral Question and Challenge, an adaption from what I have learned from Teal Swan. I have found that emotions spiral, either up (higher vibes) or down (lower vibes). When your find them spiraling down, do not resist it but rather go with the flow asking the questions all the way down, "Is that true?" and "So what is so bad about that?"

Example:

Fear: "If (fill in the blank__________) I might lose my job!"
Is that true? yes!
So what is so bad about that?
"Well, if I lose my job, then I wont have any money."
Is that true? "Yes!"
So what is so bad about that?
"If I don't have any money, I will lose my home. My family will be on the streets."
Is that true? "Well...... maybe not in the streets but in a shelter."
So what is so bad about that?
"Shelters are dirty and humiliating."
Is that true? If so, what is so bad about that?
"We would get sick, and everyone will think I am a loser."
Is that true? "Well, we may get sick, and I guess not everyone would think that."
If both did come to pass. What is so bad about that?
"We would die and our life would be for nothing."
Is that true? Absolutely not!
That is a socially-constructed belief. Everything we experience in this life has a purpose, a lesson and a reason. 

Now lets spiral back up the same ladder....

• We didn't get sick
• Everyone didn't hate us, in fact, I was shocked at how many people cared and helped us out. 
• We never ended up in a shelter because we were offered other places to live, which we didn't need to take because I actually found another job that ended up being a much better fit for me and pays more and really not only did things not go bad, they ended up better. 
• My faith in humanity was restored. 

The ladder we spiraled down was the FEAR ladder. The one we climbed back up was the HOPE, FAITH and LOVE ladder.

Try it, on whatever your current greatest fear might be.

Overcome your fears and start living a life of happiness, rooted in faith, hope and love.
This is the essence of the High Vibes Life!

Connecting With the Fairy Realm

Enjoy the music as you scroll through the fairy forest...

Lately, the fairy realm has captivated me with its enchanting beauty and magic . . .

A powerful portal for new intentions . . .

Magical blue fairy flowers hide the laughing fairies while they curiously peep at us passing by . . . 

The life-long lover trees . . .

This is Elf Burdock's home 

Interview with the Fairies: real encounters with the fairies

"Slow down so I can see you better," I pleaded.
"No," they answered,
"It is you who needs to speed up your vibration so we don't appear to move so fast. When you fully appreciate what you see with your physical eyes, you will be ready to see into fairyland. There is a part of you already existing in the fairy realm. You will not see us as long as you focus on not being able to see us! You must imagine us into your world. We will not materialize ourselves. Magic has been associated with the nature spirits, because magic is simply the art of manifestation which many people have learned from us. After all, we are the ones who manifest all of nature. It is more important that you love than that you see!" ~Messages From Fae

Expectations and Assumptions

Expectation is the mother of all heartache. Assumption is the Father of all war! Two words that pack a lot of power- born in the seat of the ego.
Ego is that part of us that feels separate from all others, including God, and does not perceive the true oneness of all things. Ego is what makes us unique in this physical world. Ego is self, and all the labels, judgments, and beliefs about self that comes with it. Ego is the part we are playing in this world; but it is not our true identity.

In John 17, Christ prays,

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. "

Sit with yourself for a while. Write down the last time you felt deep heartache and what the cause was. Evaluate the expectations that were there and how they were disappointed. Then write down someone who you feel very angry with or have a difficult time liking. Evaluate the assumptions you have made about this person. Now consider this person a part of you- "cut out of the same cloth," so-to-speak.

How might awareness of expectations and assumptions increase your joy and contentment?

Your Greatest Impact on This World

As knowledge increases and we, as a whole, are beginning to understand this universe at a more profound and deeper level, we have come to recognize that everything, when broken down to its very origin, is light.
"And God said, "Let there be light . . ."Genesis 1:3
At an energetic level, we are discovering, that what we put our mind to, with great feeling and desire, we will manifest in our life.
"As a man thinketh, so is he." Proverbs 23:7
So it stands to reason, being like God, we are creators of our own reality.
"I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High." Psalms 82:6
Therefore, it behooves us to set our minds on good things- things that bring us JOY and happiness!
"whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8
And also, to abstain from every form of evil-  things that bring hurt and sadness. (1 Thess. 5:22)
The greatest thing we can do for our world is to give our attention to the good- to be a generator of good vibrations. Instead of focusing on and fighting what you hate, start propagating, building and emphasizing what you LOVE!
"for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." Galatians 6:7

See: Quantum Physics: Sensing Unbroken Wholeness
by Judith Bluestone Polich

New Year's Reflection

So thankful for the gift of life here this past year- the health, the abundance, the friendships and the valuable lessons learned. Some of these included:

• Learning to be my own best friend 
• God is so much more than my "religious" mind  was ever able to wrap itself around 
• Individuals are responsible for their own journey here- I am only responsible for mine 
• There is beauty everywhere if you just look for it 
• Religion is not a stepping stone closer to God- listening within is 
• Water and walking is a simple way to good health
• Good friends will misunderstand you and hurt you, but they are still good friends 
• Religious people are just that- religious! They have nothing over anyone else 
• People can say and preach so much; But when the rubber meets the road, its what they do, that speaks loudest
• Life is a mystery~ and I'm okay with that
• No two perceptions can ever be exactly the same, that is why conformity is never the answer
• Two things can always produce JOY- keeping a list of "thankfuls," and focused random acts of kindness
• You do not have to try and explain your-self  to anyone; you are you- and that needs no explanation
• God is LOVE! Pure and simple!

Happy New Year to all! May you be blessed with many beautiful new experiences that take you to greater heights and clearer vision!

Love, Joy and Goodwill to all of you!

Rainbow in My Backyard

Rainbows are reminders that everything is going to be okay, that we are loved, and that every rainstorm bears a treasure. My soul is as the Sun; though the dark clouds may come and ferociously darken its light and wring out the tears of heaven, it can never take away it's strength and glory. When they dissipate, as they always will, the Sun will shine all the more brighter!

Tonight, my soul finds strength through the wise echos of NEVER!

• Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. ~Mark Twain
• Never stray away from yourself to get closer to someone else
• Never waste your feelings on people who don't value them
• Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~H. Fierstein
• Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about. ~W. Churchill
• Never apologize for showing feeling; when you do, you apologize for the truth ~B. Disraeli
• Never be afraid of your tears
• Never forget your inner child
• Never lose hope
• Never waste to your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you
• Never chase love, affection or attention; If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having
• Never base your life decisions on advice from people who don't have to deal with the results
• Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up
• Never judge someone by the opinion of another
• Never lose an opportunity for seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. ~R.W. Emerson
• Never, ever give up!

Pedophiles Undercover

Pedophiles are adults that are sexually obsessed with children. Rehabilitation is  not very common; Though some cases may abstain from acting on their perversion, they usually have not lost their obsession.

Pedophiles are not just dirty, creepy looking men that hide in their houses. Pedophiles are also found among doctors, lawyers, police officers, religious laymen, business executives, coaches, teachers and many other high-profile positions. Pedophiles are very clever at hiding their activity. They, like any other criminal, do not want to be found out.

Many have read that pedophiles work their way to children through a process known as "grooming." They befriend a child, usually one that is not well looked after. They will offer to buy them things, play games with them, take them out to eat and to movies- anything that wins the child's confidence.

But children are not their only grooming victims. Many people do not realize that the most cunning and illusive pedophiles out there have not been caught, because they have learned the fine art of grooming adults. This is done by holding "upstanding" positions in the community, making seemingly personal sacrifices for others, through flattery and just being the typical "good-guy;" Their aim is to make themselves look so outwardly good, that even if one of their child-victims came forward, most people would not believe the child. "After all, he is such a good person."

The reality in our world is pedophiles are getting away with soul-murder by the billions. From internet pedophilia to criminal sexual acts committed on children from their own family members, too many choose to turn a blind eye, and hold on to their delusion. After all, to remove the blinders from their eyes would mean to see that the world they live in is not what they had thought it to be, and that their is much more darkness and evil going on, than the mind can wrap itself around.

Pedophiles are ripping up the lives of so many, wreaking havoc on a daily basis into the innocent and blameless. And for the most part, they are getting away with it- being petted at every corner. The victims that live a life-long legacy of guilt and shame are too many times put to silence by a world that refuses to see that their precious loved one is not the saintly hero they lift them up to be, but a monster that secretly crawls out of the closet in dark corners and devours and destroys lives.

Even when a pedophile is caught, and the gruesome details of their sick acts are revealed, most of them end back up in our neighborhoods and we have to keep a vigilant eye out for our children to keep them safe.

But the sad and inescapable truth is, most of them are never caught, because they sit up on high pedestals, gathering admirers - armies that will cover up for them and defend their actions at any cost. No wonder pedophilia is out of control in this world. Those that know a pedophile and hail them anyways, must be a pedophile themselves!

Warning Flags of a Pedophile

Though we do not want to take each of these as an absolute sign that someone is a pedophile, we need to pay attention.

1. Your Gut!- If your gut is telling you something is not right with someone, pay attention. Its time to tune it and figure out why. Do not just dismiss this. Criminal psychologists will tell you the number one reason people become victims is because they did not listen to their gut instinct. Now just because your gut says something is wrong, does not make someone a pedophile. But tune in and watch for other signs. Don't be careless.
2. Your child confides in you that someone did something to them- NEVER EVER, especially with young children, dismiss what they tell you as not true or just imagined. If your child complains about an adult, does not want to be around them, or casually mentions something sexual in nature referring to that adult, GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT QUICK! Do not hound the child, but do some investigation. A child therapist that specializes in child molestation would be a great resource to start with.
3. Access to children- the pedophile needs access to children and will find a way to be around them as much as possible without being detected. Schools, sports teams, play grounds, anywhere children are, they are. Keep a sharp eye out. 
4. Alone time- pedophiles always work to get a child or children alone. They may offer unsolicited babysitting. They will want to take the child out and show him a good time, all without other adults around. HUGE red flag!
5. Grooming- A pedophile will work to gain confidence in the child and the parent. Many single mothers with children fall prey to pedophiles. They come in like a charm to the mother, treat her like gold, and gain the children's confidence- usually through play and fun and showing a particular interest in them. While this is all good, if the child at any time begins to withdraw from that adult, there is reason to be concerned. PERIOD! Don't be one of those mothers who wont believe their child because they wont let themselves believe their "lover" could do something like that. Take action! SAFE is ALWAYS better than sorry!
6. Pedophiles undercover are usually extremely intelligent- They are psychotic and know how to play people. 
7. Pedophiles are usually very secretive- Unless they are registered offenders, internet searches will come up with very little if anything on them. They are very adept at covering their tracks.

Learn to recognize the signs, and never just let your child go alone with some adult if you have any doubt whatsoever in them

Signs that your child is being sexually molested

1. Change in behavior- any sudden change in a child's behavior needs to be investigated. Other things could be causing the change, but as a parent, it is our job to protect them and find out why they are acting up. They may be terrified to tell, so just questioning is not always the answer. Look for other signs. Changes may include, becoming reclusive or aggressive; Crying a lot. Displaying seemingly irrational fears.
2. Preoccupation with genitals- masturbating, constantly trying to hide and be sexual with other children.
3. Knowing things about sex that are not age appropriate
4. Hiding to go to the bathroom- feeling shame with toileting
5. Extreme modesty- not wanting to wear bathing suits or shorts and such
6. Not wanting to be with a certain adult or adults
7. Lack of interest in things they used to enjoy
8. Overall melancholy
9. Low self-esteem
10. nightmares 
11. Sudden onset of bed-wetting
12. Sexual promiscuity

There really is no need for a child to go on being victimized if a parent will just pay attention to the warning signs and not write things off as nothing. Remember, as a primary caretaker of a child, you are their best advocate in life. If you don't fight for them, who will?

Again, pedophiles are not always obvious to detect. Many times, warning flags will be going off all around, but the grooming process has already deluded the minds of their acquaintances to such a degree that they ignore them or criticize their inner intuition, rather than taking heed. Consequently, the pedophile remains undercover.

Other reads on subject:

Fighting Online Pedophilia

The Slaughter of the Innocent

Men in Kilts

For all those religions in America and other places, that insist men wear the pants and women are to wear dresses, let this picture break up your paradigm a little. Completely normal for Scotland!

End of Summer Walk

Time to leave the homestead for a bit...

My dog and I went out for a long needed afternoon walk...

Along the quiet country road stretch out in front of our house;

Beneath blue and billowy skies...

I am reminded, "There is never nothing going on;

There are no ordinary moments" ... 

And that, "It's the journey that gives us happiness, 

not the destination"  ...

And I realize that home is not a place, but a perspective. Home is where you are loved, respected and valued, first of yourself, and then of those who dwell with you. Home is where you rest assured!

Goodbye Weight of the World

Maybe it's a little bit of rebellion bubbling up from deep within; Maybe it is a little bit of midlife crisis- taking those scissors to my hair and removing about a third, and then a little more, and then just a little bit more! With each round of cutting I feel more courageous; I feel like I am ready to take that next mountain.

As I sweep up the locks tussled about the bathroom, a certain sort of mischievous smile creeps over my face. I dump them in the trash and stare down at the hair I had loathed to part with for so many years- years that began when I rushed with excitement to my aunts barber chair the first time she gave me a short haircut; How her and my mom gleefully exclaimed over me afterwards. But it wasn't to last. My daddy was furious and said I looked like a boy, and that nobody asked him if it was okay. Suddenly, my hair was not my own. It belonged to someone else- someone I loved and looked up to. And the scissors that had trespassed through my silky blonde mane, had displeased and angered him. Then there were the laughs and jeers in my first grade class; The beehive my mom had so proudly arranged the new cut into for my school pictures apparently wasn't so hip after all. Suddenly haircuts were dangerous. From then on I knew, never EVER cut my hair short- that's for boys. But at least I could curl it and style it and make it look pretty; until I was told that someone else did not approve. Someone even more powerful than my dad. Someone else I had learned to love and look up to. My hair did not belong to me-nor did anything else I had. God owned it and he greatly disproved of me cutting or even spending much time styling it. No, I must be careful not to look like the rest of the world. To mess with my hair was all the more dangerous now for it could lead me right to hell's eternal fire.

My eyes were now riveted on that pile of brown hair. I didn't feel the danger. I didn't feel the scorn. Rather, I felt so light and free . . . as if the weight of eternity had just been cut away.

Ten Marital Communication Skills to Master

"Where there is love, there is no imposition"

~ Albert Einstein

1. Think before you speak- Don't allow the adrenaline rush you feel from a conflict, control you, otherwise you will be reactive rather than proactive. Taking a few minutes to think about what you want to say is a wise investment. 

2. Speak Truthfully- One of the worse things you can do is lie. Many lie because they do not want to stand up and take the blame for their actions or admit that they have done something wrong. Everyone makes mistakes; this is how we learn. A good rule of thumb is to stay away from words like never and always. Words like these will come back to haunt you. 

3. Transparency- Be open and honest about everything. Don't try to hide behind a fake frontage or facade. This will take being humble and not letting pride get in your way. When you are open and honest, you will be much easier to be listened to and heard. 

 4. Edifying- A marriage is only as good as its weakest link. However, the weakest link can be strengthened through edification. Building trust and confidence in your partner takes hard work and patience, but it pays great dividends in the end. 

5. Avoid criticizing or attacking- trying to put the blame on your partner instead of taking responsibility for yourself, will break all the first four communication skills in one fell swoop. If you are not happy with the others actions, then you need to work with them, to educate them on how things might be handled in the future to improve the situation. Do not take your frustrations out on your spouse, forgetting your role as a nurturer and advocate. There are times when your spouse is going to be confrontational. This should not be fueled and allowed to escalate in front of children or other onlookers. Take control of the situation until you are able to deal with it in another area with the door shut. This will also give your partner time to cool off. If your partner continues to be confrontational and irrational, bringing in a third party- such as a therapist, may be needed to help bring you both back to healthy communication. 

6. Proper Timing- Know when to speak and when not to speak. Put yourself in the other persons shoes. Timing is everything. It could be the difference between keeping a friendship and losing it. Always be considerate and take into account all aspects of the situation. Your spouse may be more sensitive about discussing certain issues in public areas. Always show respect for their needs. Again bringing you back to skill one, you don't want to say something you will regret later. Proper timing should be thought about when making a request as well. Not everything needs to be addressed immediately. Prioritize what you need to talk about and wait for a better opportunity for the rest. 

7. Kindness and Respect- Kindness and respect go a long way.Before you start sounding off a list of grievances, you should ask your partner about how you are doing and if there is any way you can improve the relationship. This demonstrates personal responsibility and maturity, and shows your spouse that you are serious about their happiness and about your relationship. Avoid accusing statements that begin with "you," such as "you hurt me.' Instead, take responsibility for your own reactions in statements such as, "I was hurt by what you did/ said." Begin with "I" instead of "you."

8. Understanding- When the above skills are neglected, there is a tendency to shun questions, and to not get clarification and understanding. Each partner of the relationship needs to understand what the others expectations of them are and what their duties to the relationship is and be in agreement about these things. Never expect your partner to second guess your needs and desires. We need to ask each other questions in order to better understand one another. This is not always easy because questions can make one feel vulnerable and ignorant; However questions, when asked, not to interrogate, but to better understand what the others expectations are, can be humbling and when answered with respect, can evoke that transparency we need to be good communicators. 

9. Be an attentive listener- Being an attentive listener may be the most important part of being a good partner or friend. As has been observed before, we were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should be doing more listening than speaking. But "attentive listener" is the key here. To be attentive, one gives his total attention to the person speaking, asking for clarification whenever you need to. Do not interrupt and do not keep a mental list of all the things you are going to say in retrospective of all that is being said to you. When this is going on, you are not listening to hear, but rather listening to defend yourself. 

10. Attitude and Body Language- You can master all of the above out of "duty" but if you have an defensive attitude, it will spill out in your body language. Body language is a powerful mechanism that can manipulate the communication. Rolling your eyes, shrugging your shoulders, waving your hands, are all indicators that you could care less about what is being said. Be aware of your attitude and if you must, ask to talk at a different time to give you time to cool off and become more objective. But just make sure you set up another time to reconvene and finish the discussion. Ignoring problems only makes them fester. You need to learn to communicate and work through your issues. 

If we want to have a good marriage- to anyone, we have to master the art of good communication. Without communication skills laid as a foundation beneath your relationship,every other effort will be for not.  

Adapted from: FireHouse- The Ten Commandments of Communication

So Much Needs to Be Done

Here I am again, curled up on the sofa, with a journal and a bright green pencil, scratching out words that fall out from the inner world of my soul. I should be getting things done. Always, always, things need getting done. No matter how much I do, I have discovered that things still need to be done. Is this all life is? The doing of things that need to be done?

What am I striving for anyhow? To be the perfect, all-American woman? To impress someone with my clean house, or manicured yard? To revel in my children's accomplishments? Do I want to be noticed? Acknowledged? Counted worthy to receive a generous piece of the pie?

Not long ago, not very long ago at all, I held my babies close. Life was full of then- beautiful, blessed moments of sheer joy, cradled within my own two arms.

My physical eyes beheld perfection though I could not see them growing.  Soft and tiny, freshly scented with heavens perfume; my lips gently kissed their delicate skin~ love drenched affection. Their warm sweet breath tickled my neck as I rocked them to sleep upon my shoulder.

All but for a moment in time . . .

My babies are all gone now. I did not see them growing, yet they grew. I did not see their wings developing, yet they flew away.

Today, there are so many things on my to-do-list; so many things I need to get done. There is so much life still to be lived . . .

My black lab stretches lazily across the living room floor, agitating me with her incessant snoring..

Crackling sounds of pages turned comes from my daughter as she quietly reads. My husband catches up on sleep missed during the wee hours of the morning. Today is his birthday number 53.

I sit, with pencil in hand, writing out my perspective of this passing hour. Meanwhile, there is so much that needs to be done . . .

How to Show Love to Someone Who is Depressed

Loved this article found at The Darling Bakers. It really offers some fresh ideas, not just the same old rehashed list.

1. Help them keep clutter at bay.

When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm  environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)

2. Fix them a healthy meal.

Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing her to go deeper into her depression. Help your loved one keep her body healthy, and her mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.

3.Get them outside.

 The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike (exercise is an effective mood booster!) or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depressionhere.  For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.

4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.

If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.

5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.

Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.

6. Hug them.

Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.

7. Laugh with them.

Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of herself. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.

8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.

Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.

9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.

A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”

10.Remind them why you love them.

Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.

Complete article can be found at:

10 Ways to Show Love to Someone With Depression

August Morning

The opening of a brand new day . . . 

Life is a gift . . .

Beholding the scenes that have never changed . . . 

Only the soul behind the lenses . . . 

she changes, day by day, week by week . . . 

Life is an evolution . . .

Another summer, another garden . . . 

From out of the same earth, 

year by year, 

comes form, color, fragrance . . .

Beauty and sustenance . . . 

Life is a miracle . . .

Green canopies beckon us 

into their secret seclusion . . .  

Life is a mystery . . . 

Welcome, August morning!