Pedophiles are adults that are sexually obsessed with children. Rehabilitation is not very common; Though some cases may abstain from acting on their perversion, they usually have not lost their obsession.
Pedophiles are not just dirty, creepy looking men that hide in their houses. Pedophiles are also found among doctors, lawyers, police officers, religious laymen, business executives, coaches, teachers and many other high-profile positions. Pedophiles are very clever at hiding their activity. They, like any other criminal, do not want to be found out.
Many have read that pedophiles work their way to children through a process known as "grooming." They befriend a child, usually one that is not well looked after. They will offer to buy them things, play games with them, take them out to eat and to movies- anything that wins the child's confidence.
But children are not their only grooming victims. Many people do not realize that the most cunning and illusive pedophiles out there have not been caught, because they have learned the fine art of
grooming adults. This is done by holding "upstanding" positions in the community, making seemingly personal sacrifices for others, through flattery and just being the typical "good-guy;" Their aim is to make themselves look so outwardly good, that even if one of their child-victims came forward, most people would not believe the child.
"After all, he is such a good person."
The reality in our world is pedophiles are getting away with soul-murder by the billions. From internet pedophilia to criminal sexual acts committed on children from their own family members, too many choose to turn a blind eye, and hold on to their delusion. After all, to remove the blinders from their eyes would mean to see that the world they live in is not what they had thought it to be, and that their is much more darkness and evil going on, than the mind can wrap itself around.
Pedophiles are ripping up the lives of so many, wreaking havoc on a daily basis into the innocent and blameless. And for the most part, they are getting away with it- being petted at every corner. The victims that live a life-long legacy of guilt and shame are too many times put to silence by a world that refuses to see that their precious loved one is not the saintly hero they lift them up to be, but a monster that secretly crawls out of the closet in dark corners and devours and destroys lives.
Even when a pedophile is caught, and the gruesome details of their sick acts are revealed, most of them end back up in our neighborhoods and we have to keep a vigilant eye out for our children to keep them safe.
But the sad and inescapable truth is, most of them are never caught, because they sit up on high pedestals, gathering admirers - armies that will cover up for them and defend their actions at any cost. No wonder pedophilia is out of control in this world. Those that know a pedophile and hail them anyways, must be a pedophile themselves!
Warning Flags of a Pedophile
Though we do not want to take each of these as an absolute sign that someone is a pedophile, we need to pay attention.
- Your Gut!- If your gut is telling you something is not right with someone, pay attention. Its time to tune it and figure out why. Do not just dismiss this. Criminal psychologists will tell you the number one reason people become victims is because they did not listen to their gut instinct. Now just because your gut says something is wrong, does not make someone a pedophile. But tune in and watch for other signs. Don't be careless.
- Your child confides in you that someone did something to them- NEVER EVER, especially with young children, dismiss what they tell you as not true or just imagined. If your child complains about an adult, does not want to be around them, or casually mentions something sexual in nature referring to that adult, GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT QUICK! Do not hound the child, but do some investigation. A child therapist that specializes in child molestation would be a great resource to start with.
- Access to children- the pedophile needs access to children and will find a way to be around them as much as possible without being detected. Schools, sports teams, play grounds, anywhere children are, they are. Keep a sharp eye out.
- Alone time- pedophiles always work to get a child or children alone. They may offer unsolicited babysitting. They will want to take the child out and show him a good time, all without other adults around. HUGE red flag!
- Grooming- A pedophile will work to gain confidence in the child and the parent. Many single mothers with children fall prey to pedophiles. They come in like a charm to the mother, treat her like gold, and gain the children's confidence- usually through play and fun and showing a particular interest in them. While this is all good, if the child at any time begins to withdraw from that adult, there is reason to be concerned. PERIOD! Don't be one of those mothers who wont believe their child because they wont let themselves believe their "lover" could do something like that. Take action! SAFE is ALWAYS better than sorry!
- Pedophiles undercover are usually extremely intelligent- They are psychotic and know how to play people.
- Pedophiles are usually very secretive- Unless they are registered offenders, internet searches will come up with very little if anything on them. They are very adept at covering their tracks.
Learn to recognize the signs, and never just let your child go alone with some adult if you have any doubt whatsoever in them
Signs that your child is being sexually molested
- Change in behavior- any sudden change in a child's behavior needs to be investigated. Other things could be causing the change, but as a parent, it is our job to protect them and find out why they are acting up. They may be terrified to tell, so just questioning is not always the answer. Look for other signs. Changes may include, becoming reclusive or aggressive; Crying a lot. Displaying seemingly irrational fears.
- Preoccupation with genitals- masturbating, constantly trying to hide and be sexual with other children.
- Knowing things about sex that are not age appropriate
- Hiding to go to the bathroom- feeling shame with toileting
- Extreme modesty- not wanting to wear bathing suits or shorts and such
- Not wanting to be with a certain adult or adults
- Lack of interest in things they used to enjoy
- Overall melancholy
- Low self-esteem
- nightmares
- Sudden onset of bed-wetting
- Sexual promiscuity
There really is no need for a child to go on being victimized if a parent will just pay attention to the warning signs and not write things off as nothing. Remember, as a primary caretaker of a child, you are their best advocate in life. If you don't fight for them, who will?
Again, pedophiles are not always obvious to detect. Many times, warning flags will be going off all around, but the grooming process has already deluded the minds of their acquaintances to such a degree that they ignore them or criticize their inner intuition, rather than taking heed. Consequently, the pedophile remains undercover.
Other reads on subject:
Fighting Online Pedophilia
The Slaughter of the Innocent
